MisSy KArEnA

In the office stoning

2010-12-13T23:16:00.000-08:00

everything didnt turn out as planned, but i will still continue to stay strong super strong

My decision

2009-09-03T18:54:00.000-07:00

Something has been bothering me for quite some time. I have a decision to make. To decide whether i should go cambridge to do my PHD. It is kinda scary for a girl, to go there all alone, i know it will be an opportunity and an experience worth the risk, but I am still scare. I dont know, what if i am not independant enough, what if I cannot fit into the culture, what if I fall sick and i am all alone, what if i cannot make it. Oh dear... this is tough, I am goin to just apply for AGS and let fate decide if it is meant to be, I will get the scholarship and persue my PHD at cambridge.

Growing Fat Fat

2009-03-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

aiks... i growing fatter n fatter day by day... bumper... wat shld i do? Plans: i need more exercise n eat lesser... must jiayou jiayou. suhui jiayou... this is my goal.. loss 5kg yeah !!! ^_^

爱不在

2008-12-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

坐在这角落心里很多话想说
我和你的错就是舍不得放手
深爱你的我早就应该让你自由
知道我以后需要一直往前走
也许是越在乎越会彼此的伤害
这样的爱情又算是什么
爱不在应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在我们都已不存在彼此未来
有时候对爱有太深太多依赖
好像已失去在这世界还能够孤单的自由
是曾经有的梦现在只剩一场空
心里好多疑问遗忘了你的承诺
笑我自己没有用眼泪无言的流下来
迟早还是要面对这段感情的伤痛
是因为越在乎给彼此伤害更多
有了距离以后还逃不脱的你和我
爱不在应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在我们都不存在彼此未来有时候
对你还是有关怀可是心里已经太明白
不是爱不是爱
爱不在应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在我们都已不存在彼此未来
有时候不管对爱有多少的依赖
就算再不愿再伤心我明白
我们只能放手爱不在

How Can I OverCome?

2008-12-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

It doesnt matter how long a relationship last, even a 3-4mths relationship can completely wrecked a person because you believe you can be with him forever. As far as my nervous systems was concerned, I was already married to him. When i had to end it because i dun want him to 2-time, it is exquisitely painful although there is no physical injuries in my body. Now is a huge negative feeling but yet i find myself compelled to go over and over memories and hope which makes the feeling worst because I dont know if the feeling will ever end.

Everyday i'm like telling myself, " This is ridiculous! I have got to stop!" The thoughts wouldn't stop. I didn't want to think about him, but I couldn't help it. I realized that I wasn't in charge of my own brain. What is going on? I feel so loss and painful. I dun know if itz because I desire so much for us to work out.

My balance is upset, and my feelings change from one minute to the next. I am overwhelmed with anger at him. One minute I desperate to see him, the next I can't bear to have anyone mention his name. This volatility and confusion add to the misery. I need to overcome this, I need him out of my life for me to heal. I mean completely. How can i heal when i'm still attached to U. If not my feeling will never be ready to improve.

Sometimes, I feel bad for a while then it stop, then I feel fine, then I feel sad again, then sadness stops. Sometimes, I feel guilty. Sometimes, I wanna blame u for letting my heart bleed. Sometimes, I feel mayb because I haben done enuff, it's my fault. Sometimes, I feel like i'm to harsh need to give you time. Sometimes, I feel I should not alway give in and alway think for U. Sometimes, I feel I have to be brave and strong and think for me for a change.

I experience a welter of feelings. I can be angry, sad, devastated, despairing, distraught, desperate, remorseful, regretful, ashamed, embarrassed. The emotional bombardment is overwhelming. I cannot prevent all these feeling because I care and I am hurt.

2008-10-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

At this moment, i'm back in singapore. Feeling very down everything, might be because i miss utah so much. And also i'm retrenched. Somehow but, as a fresh graduate and you got retrench the mood and moral will be super low. I only like less than 3mths there. It'z not enuff. i can still remember the 1st time when i hear the new about going there how excited i am. It's just like yesterday. Everything about utah, itz a memory i treasure so dearly.

I still remember my 1st trip is to zion then LV. These photos here really says it all. Followed by bearlake, then went to san frans, miami, short trips to gateway, parkcity, walmart, smiths, harmones, super china, cheesecake factory, intermountain hospital, deer ridge. Deer ridge is so beautiful, i wanna be up there forever. ( esp with U) Moments up there is like u wanna grab the whole utah, the moon and stars in ur hands. I really treaure every moment spent with you. Althought itz short but then something that I cannot bear to let go till the last day. Alot of bad things happen in utah but u are the best n special thing that happen. U'll alway be my heart which i left in utah with U. Itz hard since we just start but i want u to know that i'll support u to do the things u like. I'll stay heathly n strong in sg, u have to in utah. Then i'll only not worry n dun worry about me cause i have my family with me here but u are all alone. Break my heart everytime i tink about this. I wish we'll still be the same when u come back and let fate decide whether we are meant to be and be together forever.

I guess we have to move on with life, I want u to be strong. Dont worry about me. I know staying up to talk itz tiring, i dun wan u to tire urself out. Getting cold in winter, u gonna take care of urself. I wan u to tell me everything, want to be part of ur life to go on forever.

2008-10-25T18:33:00.001-07:00

I haben got the chance to publish my san frans and miami trip photos.. will do it very soon !! Now need to rest and plan my future.

^.^ Bear LakE !!!

2008-09-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

my trip to bear lake... super fun !! We went in the morning at 8am.. staying there for a night.. lol dun know wat to bring to..but itz just like chalet leh.. but very diff cause of the place... got tons of v nice photos taken... >.< Stay at janice's place...
The photos go from bottom up... paiseh cause d/l the earlier photos 1st... iTs beautiful there... luv to go bear lake again again n again... went canoeing, didnt really try jet ski cause scare.. cannot really balance... my cycling wasnt good already... but hope that can try sometime. Oh next time must bring family n friends there.. tt will be cool !

Zion Nature Park n VeG@s !!!! ^^ (pics)

2008-09-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

hey hey time to post pics for zion n vegas... i know kinda slow...... paisseh.. but today i'm goin to update 2 posting... nice... itz sat n i've slp quite abit..n have enuff rest lor... so happi.... back to day shift so adapting quite well.. night shift was very tiring... n difficult to concentration myself... well now that i have switch to day shift.. i dun have to worry for the next 4 months....

now here is the pics from zions n vegas... ( i wanna go back vegas again.) 2 hours there ain't enuff...

>.< in the car on the way there

Pit stop at a petrol station! To have Mal's sandwiches

look @ the mountains !!

After 4hours plus finally reach Zion lor ^_^

Tickets !! Booth !!

Went to Wasatch Squatters to eat!

Xinhui n me !

Going on board

On the bus

Look @ Zion (beautiful)

We are hiking to the highest (Temple of Sinawava)

Reach the busstop lor >.<

Malcolm giving instruction !
Starting point !!!

Half way thru... wat issit?

River !! wow the water super cold !

Going river Route !

vegas only got few pics next time i go then take more. cause tt day only went to factory outlet tt is all.

Zion Nature Park n VeG@s !!!! ^^

2008-08-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went Zion n Vegas ! ^_^ this is only the 2nd week... we are already on our way to the attraction... omg... vegaS need to go back there again.... >.< shopping there.. was suPer fUn..... Recomend frens to go there esp Chelsea premium outlet... lotz of shop... got a polo shirt 40 only, n nIkE running shoes... only 30 and coAch wallet only 80 all i talking abt one iss Sing Dollar leh... wa seh... jialat... becoming a shopping queen lor... good bargain lehz...

Well Vegas was kinda of a last min thing tt y only shop like 2hours plus... in the morning... our wavE 24 went to Zion Nature National Park... lol... i nearly fall into the river... super slippery lor... but tire n fUn... i took lot n lots of pic... hope everyday wil b so fun!!

Last weekend we went to The Gateway for my 1st shopping.. look at all the acheivement... got forever 21, american eagles and a cute cute bag... i going to post the pics.. on the next posting.. now abit tire le... going to sleep soon... going vegas... 1 whole day never really slp lah

KaRenA @ UtaH.... (first Few days)

2008-08-08T12:27:00.001-07:00

I'm at Utah lor peeps... omg.. itz really beautiful here.... look at the scenary...

And all these are the type of houses i live in... cool rite...
oh i have to say the flight here was painful... total of 28hours plus to reach my apartment around 6pm (Utah time) did i mention the time diff is ard 15hours.. so frens wont get to see my that often once i start work which is this coming Monday...

@the airport --- some pics from the flight
<-- super early bf at the airport but we finish it!^_^ <-- Me n luagges.. so heavy wor!

<-- Everyone that sent me.. about to go in!<-- My house mate Peiwen !!

To Toyko
To LA

EveryOne frOm w@ve 24

41B My seat n my Meal!

To salt Lake n Reach Utah lor!

Reach my apartment at Draper, Utah (AdaGio)

That's all for my house!!!

On the First day here we went on a city tour... well it'll be better to say it's my 2nd day here!

My neightbour is not city therefore we headed to salt lake city.

My company ImFlash!

Chinese Shop

Utah Jazz @nd tRam

Momers church

Winter Olypmics2002

We went Golden Corral for buffet lunch!

Nice food but all western.. too much will make me Fat wor!

Then we went WalMart... super super mart to buy stuffs.

Yes! on The way home... i'll update more.. Miss all. ^_^

Overhere was fun n exciting so far... no jetlag hurray!! but just tat the weather is abit dry... need more moisturers. When the sun is up... super Hot.. at night super cold... trying all my best to adapt. Hopfully everything goes well!

FareweLL BBQ

2008-08-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps thAnks for EverThing.... really enjoy n have tons of fun today... BBQ was fun, cycling was fun and most of all thanks for all the present. I really Luv them esp the Cards so sweet...I tink if i feel lonely over at states... definitely will bring the card out to read.

Look at the people that went BBQ! ------>

WOW!!.... lotz of food and drinks ... wonder when will be our next BBQ... tink gonna wait till next year... oh keke when i come back.. will try to organize one more BBQ.

<-- me n yokelim in a Cab on the way there oopz late!

<-- Waiting for 403 to go pasir Ris park to bBQ!

unCle weI help Us carry so maNy thInGs Man power!

<-- Man & GirL poweR!

---> Resting tImE! ----->

Tent BuilDinG tIme !! LooK @t thE eXpertS !!

KiTe FlyinG @ the BegInninG.... at nigHt still Flying.... this one so cute !!

sTart fiRe lor... OuR fIrE stArtErs R gooD !!! thX WeiDa n JiAn wei!

<-- The BikE RiDerS ^.^

Oopz Did i mentIon ouR pit is 58...

GetTinG dArk n The BBQ sTarT...

Hey PeePs i didnt upload all the photos heRe, the Rest will put in face book instead!

Once Again wanna thanks all of U frens for the gift and card.... really Like them... N very touch!
Wanna say : Although I going to US for a year, but will misS all of U very mUch. And U all will always have a special Place in my heart. Friends for evEr n EveR. Dun forGet me OrH and mUz keeP in Touch and Do update mE on Ur news/ HappEninG. TaKe cAre lOr alL my FrieNds !

ThankS to: Rebecca, Huifang, Qiuling, Yokelim, Chingman, Shufang, Zilan, Jianwei, WeiDa, Mingwei, Aini, Liling, Aiping, Florence, Nurinda, Diana, Khine, ZhangFeng, Peter, Justin, Shufen, YuanJuan, Laura, Melvin, YiHong, Peter, Yati, Mohdar and many more!! Thanks for coming n for Writing in the giant card!

Graduation !!! 2008 Covo !!!

2008-07-15T04:49:00.000-07:00

OMG omG oMg Omg !!! Finally i have graduated, hurray aft so manY years of studies.... Last Sat went ard SG to talk grad photos with my frens... super cool... First we went botanic garden... but orh... really super hot leh... esp when u wearing the grad gown... but we had lotz tonz of fuN... all typeS of dIff posT... haha... this one... i flew ... ^.^ lol

There are some few photos taken !!! Aft tat we went raffles city's jap mache to eat our lunch then we proceed to esplande for more snapping... followed by merlion then to fullerton hotel.

Tat the end of the photos sessions, then we went to shop ard... wanted to sing K but timing not correct lah.. end up we went cafe cartel to makan makan then went back home... wa seh... v tiring day... but v memoriable... cant wait for the real covo to come!!

My FirSt BLoG !!

2008-06-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

Hey gUys n Gals..... It'z aBouT tIme i start Blogging .... HeRe I StaRt ....

*^.^*